I always knew I wanted to have my children with a midwife. I wanted someone who would trust my body to do what it was naturally inclined to, someone who was a feminist, someone who believed in me. I wanted someone who would make me feel supported in my decisions and truly understand my body. With my midwife, Cynthia Jackson, I was given more than I ever expected.
During our time with Cynthia she provided us with care above and beyond our expectations. She did not just get to know my body, she got to know me, and Ryan too on a personal level. She learned our story, laughed with us, and ALWAYS listened, no matter what it was we wanted to talk about.
She took the time out of her busy schedule to visit and call when she knew we were having a rough time, she helped me come up with a million different solutions when my HG was at its worst, when other people may have told me to just wait it out. She listened to our fears, helped us come up with solutions and made us feel so cared for.
She was there, every other day at our house when my pregnancy went longer than expected, and her trust in my body never wavered. Every single time she listened to my gripes of, why isn’t this baby here yet and what can I do to get her here? She was there when we went in for the non-stress test, even though she didn’t have to go. She wanted to make sure that my body was given every opportunity and never ever cut short in terms of its ability.
My midwife made the call that kept us safe when we were faced with the unknown during Tzeitel’s birth. And when the ambulance pulled up, she could have left, went home for the day and took a nice long nap, but she stayed. She stayed even when the hospital system doubted us all, she stayed even when there were 4 security guards trying to keep her, my family, and my photographer out of the room. After Tzeitel was born Cynthia stayed to helped me breastfeed. Even now when Tzeitel has a good latch I still find myself saying "good job," because that's what Cynthia said when she was helping us that very first time,
Even after nursing, she went above and beyond for our family again. During my entire pregnancy I had been very nervous that I would end up having postpartum depression and part of our prevention plan included having my placenta made into pills by Jahmanna, who was also the assistant midwife. When we made the decision to go to the hospital, I thought that having my placenta released for the pills was a lost cause. Cynthia let me know though that she would not be leaving without my placenta, and she didn't. She stayed with us for HOURS after Tzeitel was born, even though it became apparent early on that the hospital was not going to let it go easily. She didn't leave until she had it with her.
What I didn't realize is by hiring a midwife I would be given care that runs so much deeper than any of the medical care I was used to. Much deeper. So I want to thank her. Thank you for making yourself available throughout my pregnancy for ever single question I had, no matter what the topic. Thank you for sharing stories with me and listening to my own. Thank you for providing me with room to give consent. Thank you for laughing with me. Thank you for calling to check on me when you knew I was in a stressful situation. Thank you for caring about the things I was dealing with, that went far past just pregnancy. Thank you for making me feel safe. Thank you for pushing me when I needed it and always believing that I could do even the hardest things. Thank you for ending every prenatal with a hug. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to birth my baby with someone who felt not just like a care provider, but like a friend. I can't imagine it any other way.
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